No Skirting The Issue

Illawarra Mercury

Tuesday October 19, 2004

Melissa Gaudron

IN the 1994 Australian movie, The Sum of Us, Jack Thompson - an icon of Australian manhood - plays a knockabout, suburban father of a gay son, played by that other national hero of heterosexuality, Russell Crowe (the one who wore the skirt in Gladiator).

In a memorable scene, Jack Thompson talks directly to the camera to set the audience straight on his son's sexual leanings: "He's what you might call, cheerful," he says with a wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Cheerful is hardly the most common euphemism for gay, but in a country that throws about words such as "purse carrying nancy boys" and "horses hoofs" to describe homosexuals, "cheerful" has a sweet retro, kitsch ring to it.

The movie gave the impression of a country full to the brim of people not afraid to embrace change, to challenge gender stereotypes and to accept that the brotherhood comes in all shapes and sizes.

Jack Thompson's lovable character depicted the average Australian male as a blokey-bloke who was just as comfortable with a man's sexuality as he was holding a beer in his hand.

But beauty is undeniably in the eye of the beer holder, and it seems this gay-friendly view of the world hasn't caught on with all the menfolk of the Illawarra.

This is particularly obvious when it comes to the issue of raising little boys whose exploration of their feminine side may be getting just a bit too "cheerful" for their own good.

Tanya from Mt Keira lives in what she describes as a "butch" household of four boys where "the toilet seat stays up all the time, and I can't do a damn thing about it".

She says her preschooler Joshua loves going through her old make-up bag and works wonders with her blush, blue eyeliner and other cosmetic relics of the '80s.

"You should see him strutting around here like a peacock, and my husband chasing after him with a face washer," she says laughing.

"You'd think Josh was heading off to the Mardi Gras in Oxford St, the way his father carries on."

Michelle from West Wollongong chimes in: "My little four-year-old, Nathan, loves doing all the normal boy things.

"He loves going to the footy with his dad, he loves doing knee drops on his brothers and he could jump on the trampoline for 12 hours every day if he had his way.

"But he also loves wearing his cousin's fairy skirt and waving around her magic wand. And doesn't it make his dad nervous?"

Maria from Unanderra tells a similar tale of her five-year-old, Aidan, who between watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the TV, also plays with mum's make-up and decorates his hair with clips and elastics.

"He also loves pretending to be the princess whenever he plays Sleeping Beauty with the neighbours' kids," Maria says.

"I actually never thought anything of it, but I was telling some people at work about him the other day, and they were in shock.

"One of the guys said: 'No boy of mine will ever be playing with make-up. Not if I've got something to do with it'.

"This bloke is only in his 30s and is the father of two young school-age boys.

"I just couldn't believe what I was hearing. I thought we'd all moved on from that crap."

It seems not. The argument goes that if dad is more than happy seeing his little girl run around in jeans and climbing trees, then what's wrong with his young male offspring donning a tiara and some lippie before heading off to the shops?

But it seems blokes across the region are squirming in their Thorpedo boxer shorts at the thought of their little Johnny (and no, I'm not talking about little Johnny Howard) opting for sparkles instead of Stubbies when he gets dressed in the morning.

The bottom line is, the antiquated thought still persists that if dads don't chide their little boys for crying when they hurt themselves or if they don't disapprove of them wearing mum's mascara they will be responsible for creating future cast members of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

They will be making a new generation of soft Aussie males. And who knows what would happen with such a radical change?

Next thing you know, sportsmen who once would have killed for a chance to wear the Baggy Green, will be sacrificing their positions in the Australian cricket team.

Oh that's right: that's not about being soft, that's called good sportsmanship. There's really such a small step between the two, don't you think (regardless of whether you take it in strappy sandals or bovver boots.)

So what's wrong with bringing up your boys on a solid foundation (even if it is from Max Factor)? And if you can't get junior out of that fetching little Hawaiian skirt and bra top, rest assured. He may not be heading to Queer Eye, but you can guarantee him a future spot on that testosterone-fuelled Footy Show where drag is de rigeur.

Now there are some cheerful guys who obviously played with their mum's make-up.

Tomorrow Community Forum - National Water Week

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